Youth
by SingingWhileCrying
Summary: (This fanfic is canon divergent after Message Received.) When Rose died, the gems grieve. They must move on, but Steven still wonders if they have.


**Typed this before Gem Harvest airs. Canon divergent after Message Received.**

 _Shadows settle on the place, that you left_  
 _Our minds are troubled by the emptiness_

None of the Crystal Gems took Rose's death well.

Amethyst had refused to come out of her room once Rose went into labor. She didn't leave it for two months.

Pearl spiraled downward. She externally expressed the most grief out of the gems, by going to old battlefields by herself, saying she was going on missions.

Garnet, on the contrary, hid all of her feelings inside her. It took all of her effort to not unfuse at the time. She couldn't call apart, she was the new leader of the team.

Greg took care of Steven for the first several years, understanding that the gems needed sometime to grieve. They almost never had to grieve.

 _Destroy the middle, it's a waste of time_  
 _From the perfect start to the finish line_

Eventually after several years of grieving, the gems decided that they had to meet Steven, no matter how much it hurt to do so.

It went surprisingly better than expected, with Steven looking at all of them with star eyes and happily grinning.

The gems didn't expect such a positive response, but they interacted with him and developed their own relationships with him.

"He's so similar to Rose." Pearl said to Amethyst and Garnet after they went back to the temple.

Garnet spoke up after she said this. "Yes, but he's not Rose. He's Steven."

 _And if you're still breathing, you're the lucky ones_  
 _'Cause most of us are heaving through corrupted lungs_  
 _Setting fire to our insides for fun_  
 _Collecting names of the lovers that went wrong_  
 _The lovers that went wrong_

Even though they were all getting closer to Steven, Pearl still took walks through the strawberry battlefield every few weeks. Sometimes she was gone for a few hours, other times she was gone for weeks.

She would walk around the former battlefield, reminiscing of how many battles were fought here. All of their victories...

And their major loss when almost all of her comrades who were crystal gems were corrupted. Turned into formless monsters with no known hope of helping them.

She knew she was lucky she didn't become a monster, but sometimes she would wonder if they could feel like gems could. If they could feel the loss of gems close to them.

She also wondered how Rose had only been gone for a few years. Rose knew she loved her, but she decided to be with Greg.

And who was Pearl now in this world without her?

 _We are the reckless_  
 _We are the wild youth_  
 _Chasing visions of our futures_  
 _One day we'll reveal the truth_  
 _That one will die before he gets there_

Steven had only moved in with the gems at the age of nine.

He had no idea of how their history.

He didn't know that Garnet is a fusion that was mixed and considered wrong. How Sapphire was a loyal servant to a diamond. How Ruby still sees herself as below Sapphire even after more than 5,000 years passed. He only thought she was a cool leader.

He didn't know that Amethyst was made on Earth. How she was made by sucking up the life on Earth, thus weakening it's life source. How she considered herself a big mistake. He only thought she was like a fun and cool sister.

He didn't know that Pearl was a servant. How she had to teach herself to be something besides graceful and obedient. How she fell in love with Rose because Rose gave her a chance to be free. He only thought she was like a cool mother to him.

He didn't know his mother had done terrible things. How she shattered a diamond to save Earth. How she didn't tell the other's that Bismuth was alive. How she wasn't perfect. He only thought she was simply his mother.

Some days, he wished he still didn't know any of their history.

 _'Cause most of our feelings, they are dead and they are gone_  
 _We're setting fire to our insides for fun_  
 _Collecting pictures from the flood that wrecked our home_  
 _It was a flood that wrecked this_

Steven never thought he would be questioning if the gems loved him.

He always thought that they accepted him, thinking he was his own person.

However, after seeing Amethyst shapeshift into her and Pearl project an image and quote her, he couldn't help but wonder if they did love her more than him.

He knew that if he asked, they would deny it. They would never tell him to his face that they didn't love him.

The only gem he knew appreciated him more than Rose was Peridot, as she never met his mother.

However, she only has been their ally for a few days. Things could change, but he believed in her.

 _Well I've lost it all, I'm just a silhouette_  
 _A lifeless face that you'll soon forget_  
 _My eyes are damp from the words you left_  
 _Ringing in my head, when you broke my chest_  
 _Ringing in my head, when you broke my chest_

He didn't know why he decided to ask them this question, but he did.

They were at the barn, checking the drill again only a few hours after Peridot called Yellow Diamond a clod.

Steven walked up to them, his hands clasped together as he looked down at his feet.

"Hey guys, can I ask you something?" He said, forcing himself to finally come clean with them.

The gems looked at him from where they were inspecting the drill.

"Sure, Steven." Garnet replies as all of the gems walk towards Steven.

Once they walked to where he was, he began to wonder if this was a good idea. If he should really tell them.

"You have to be one hundred percent honest will me, please. I need to know."

After the gems nod, he sighs and holds his breath as he asks the question that was on his mind.

"...Do you guys hate me because I took away mom?"

He looks at each of them after he says this. They all seem shocked, but also seemed to look like they didn't wish to answer.

Steven's heart dropped. They couldn't reply, they did hate him.

"Steven," Garnet starts saying. Steven cuts her off.

"So you all hate me?" He asks.

"No!" The gems all shout.

"Don't lie." He says, tears developing in his eyes as he slowly backed away from them. "I know you three hate me. Let me go."

With that, he starts running away from them as he hears them start screaming something. He couldn't tell what they were yelling. He didn't want to listen.

He runs until he gets to the warp pad, turning it on and teleporting to wherever it took him.

 _And if you're in love, then you are the lucky one_  
 _'Cause most of us are bitter over someone_  
 _Setting fire to our insides for fun_  
 _To distract our hearts from ever missing them_  
 _But I'm forever missing him_

The gems found him on Mask Island after several minutes of teleporting to different places.

Much to their shock and heartbreak, he wasn't alone.

Standing right next to him was a huge yellow ship, with one large yellow gem standing right next to him.

Yellow Diamond had come to Earth.

She grins maliciously at the boy.

"Do you hear that?" She asks.

No response.

"It sounds like those defects."

No response.

"If only I could allow this planet to be destroyed, to make it up to Pink."

She lowers her hand to the boy.

The three gems look wide eyed. Pearl was about to shout, but Garnet kept her hand over Pearl's mouth.

Blindly and without hesitation, Steven reaches out his hand.

"Steven!" The three gems shout involuntarily.

That's when a blinding yellow light enveloped the two.

 _And you caused it_

Steven didn't know what he was thinking. He didn't know if he was thinking at all.

The fusion between him and the diamond fell apart after they dealt with the crystal gems.

He fell to the ground face first, but dreaded to pick his head up.

When he did, he saw from a distance, purple, white, red and blue shards. His family was broken. He could've stopped it.

As he feels a large hand picks him up and crush him, he yelled at himself furiously. If only he listened to them, they may not be shattered.

Then the world around him went dark.

 _And you caused it_

When Yellow Diamond checked on the Earth only a few Earth weeks later, all she saw was a huge blob of colors and limbs with pieces of rock floating near it.

Earth was destroyed. Pink was avenged.

 _And you caused it_

 **The song that was included was "Youth" by Daughter. I hope you enjoyed the fanfic, and criticism is appreciated.**


End file.
